-Chapter 2-



Victoria: Wait-a-minute...doesn't that mean we can leave now?
Brekke: MAYHEM! HEHE! MAYHEM!
Kari: Knowing Spryng...the exits are probably blocked with her penguin guards...
Kala: I'll go check. *gets up and walks out of sight*
Victoria: *whispering* Good riddance!

Rei was in front of her fire, deep in a trance.

Trish: Shove her in!
Brekke: *mimicking* SHOVE HER IIIN! MAYHEM!

She had being trying to find the meaning of the sudden appearance of the other scout, but it still wouldn't come.

Kari: (Rei) Come to me...mmmm...come to me...mmm...donuts...

"I am flame, flame is light. I am fire, fire is sigh..." Rei chanted.

Victoria: (Rei) I am on fire, fire hurts...
Kari: (Rei) I am air, air is in my head...

Flash!

Trish: AH! No! My EYES!
Brekke: *slightly cross-eyed* MAYHEM!

A voice, a name, but she couldn't grasp it. An image of a pyramid and four crystals. One white, one black, one red as blood, and a fourth that was of no color she had ever seen. It seemed to shift constantly, but always remained black. Flash! Rei found herself staring at the flames.

Kari: (Rei) Gotta cut down on the acid, man.

She sighed and rubbed her head.

Kari: (Rei) Damn hangover.

A clock in the corner of the room chimed the hour. It was already twelve. And she had school that day. Rei got up and went to bed.

~*~
Victoria: *moaning* Nooooooooooooooooooooo…

Rei was walking to school alone.

Kari: Or so she thought. But who bloody knows; she was probably hallucinating all of it, anyway.

As she passed by the bookstore, she decided to check in and see if her newfound friend, Victoria, was there. Sometimes she was, since she was the owner's daughter and often expected to help with the business.

Trish: Yay! Time to torment Victoria!
Victoria: I'd like to forewarn you that I'm the one holding the frying pan at the moment.

She walked in and was surprised at how quiet it was.

Kari: Yes, how strange. Usually there are screaming children…
Victoria: *petting frying pan* You just need to know how to take care of them…

Usually there was music playing for the shoppers. Rei also noticed that there wasn't anybody around.

Brekke: Silence. Crickets…
Kala, returning: Yay! Brekke's calmed down!
Victoria: When nobody's around, that's when you should run.
Brekke:…crickets…crickets…crickets go splat…MAYHEM! Hehe!

"Hello?" She called.

Victoria: *deep voice* Hullo Clarise…

A moment later a man walked into her view. He was wearing the blue and maroon outfit of the store's employees. Rei knew all of the employees, though. But she didn't know him.

Kari: *deep voice* Hullo, my name is Hannibal. My friends call me Hannibal the…Cannibal. But I no longer have any friends…

"Can I help you?" He asked, grinning.

Kari: *continuing* …would you like to be my friend? Perhaps you could join me for…

"Yes, I would like to know if…" she stopped and her mouth opened in a silent scream.

Kari: …lunch?

The man was twisting in all the wrong ways before her. Soon he wasn't a man anymore,

Trish: He was a WOMAN!
Kala: *Russian accent* We can do that in the mother/fatherland too…

but a bear with bat ears, fangs, hooves, and a long rat-tail. He growled then

Trish: …pulled out an accordion and started to play the Canadian national anthem!

leaped at her.

Brekke: MAYHEM!
Kala: Oh, stuff a sock up your nostril.
Brekke: *stuffs sock up her nostril*

Rei turned and ran, but the creature's tail whipped around her feet and she tripped. Its tail wound tighter around her feet as she tried to stand up. Rei screamed for help…

Victoria: (Rei) Help me, Superman, help me!
Kala: Screw Superman. Where's the other senshi when you need them?

~*~
Victoria: *moaning* Noooooooooooo…

Trish and Serena heard the screams as they ran past the shop, late for school. Curious, they stopped and went in.

Kari: (Serena) Yeah…wonder what all the screaming for help is about?
Trish: *sniffling* Why Superman? Why not meeee?
Victoria: Because you suck?
Trish: You're one to talk. It's your bookstore and you're letting in weird monsters off the street…

They tiptoed down the aisle and peeked over one of the shelves. They were startled to see the monster looming over Rei. As they watched, he pulled out a small, round light red crystal.

Victoria: (Luna) Thank god it's not another glaring one…

Serena decided she had seen enough by then and transformed, "Moon crystal power!"

Trish was not too soon after Serena with her, "Platos star power!"

Sailor Moon and Sailor Platos leaped over the books to land in front of the monster. He looked up from studying the crystal and grinned…

Kari: (Monster) Lookie mommy! No hands!
Victoria: (Monster) Look mommy, I can grin!
Kala: Hey, dude, is this a space?

Ami, Lita, and Mina were already at school, sitting in their desks, flipping through the textbook.

Kari:…looking for naughty pictures…

All at once their devices went off.

Victoria: (Ami) *angrily* Okay, who set these things to metal-detector mode?!

Startled, they quickly

Trish: …smashed them with their elbows and went, "oops!"

turned them off and one by one asked the teacher if they could go to the bathroom.

Kari: (Teacher) What the freak did you guys drink at lunch?
Trish: (Mina) *giddily* We're not going to the bathroom, silly, we're going to get high!

Soon they all had met outside the classroom's door.

Trish: Smoking pot.
Brekke, still with the sock up her nostril: Spelt. Yes. Yeast. Yam. Ham. Man. Sam. PAM!

"It's just like Serena to get in trouble at a time like this!" Lita exclaimed as they jogged down the hall toward the exit doors.

Trish: (Lita) I mean, we had all our excuses planned and the timing was just right! The bathroom is always free of other pot smokers this time of day!
Victoria: (Mina) I hope this Serena girl has the stuff…

"Thankfully, I had already gotten these notes yesterday night," Ami commented and Lita and Mina groaned.

Trish: (Lita) *whacks Ami with her spare metal baseball bat*

"They're over at the bookstore," Lita informed them after checking her communicator.

Victoria: Dude. Since when did the bookstore become the socializing point for pot smokers?
Kari: Since you started going there?
Victoria: HEY! She's not ME!
Trish: No, you both just have the same name, hair, eyes, clothes, attitudes…

"Where's Rei?" Mina wondered…

Brekke: Being trampled by elephants.

~*~
Victoria: *screams and dives under her chair*
Others: *cheer*

"Fire column!" Sailor Platos yelled and threw a blazing ball of flame at the monster.

Trish: Woah, back up. Fire column? Blazing ball of flame? Is it just me, or did this person never take geometry in elementary?!
Kala: Back in the mother/fatherland, it didn't matter if your columns were triangles; was it food?

He dodged it and knocked her over with a leap. Sailor Moon jumped out of the way and nearly fell on top of the lifeless Rei.

Victoria, from under her chair: Bad Rei. Baaaaad Rei. She's stoned dead!

She looked down at Rei and was suddenly filled with anger.

Kari: (Moon) She never paid me back!
Kala: Back in the mother/fatherland, we get angry when people die, for they are no longer fresh meat.

Moon righted herself and glared at the monster as it tried to reach into Platos' chest.

Trish: (Moon) You're not doing that right! Here, let me show you!

"Moon tiara magic!" Sailor Moon yelled and threw her glowing tiara at the monster.

Victoria: And the monster laughed, and the people celebrated, and the villagers feasted upon the lambs, the sloths, the anchovies…

Her tiara hit the creature's hand as it hovered above Platos, about to take the rest of her crystal.

Victoria: …the breakfast cereals, the orangutans, the ducks, the squirrels, the Siberian tigers…

He yowled in pain and jumped backwards, giving Sailor Platos time to get to her feet.

Brekke: Which she did do. And then she started shouting, "MAYHEM! MAYHEM!"
Trish: Stuff a sock up the other nostril, please.
Brekke does so.

The creature turned toward Moon, plowing Platos down again with his swinging tail,

Kala: Back in the mother/fatherland, that would earn you a week in prison.
Trish: Only?
Kala: A week in prison with the cannibals.

and leaped at her. Sailor Moon yelled as he dragged her to the ground.

Victoria: (Moon) PERV!

"I am Sailor Mercury!" Mercury cried from the store's doorway when she saw the fight.

"I'm Sailor Jupiter!"

"And I'm Sailor Venus! In behalf of Venus…" Venus yelled.

"And Jupiter!" Sailor Jupiter put in.

"And Mercury!" Sailor Mercury piped up.

Brekke, nasally: And mayhem!
Kala: And the mother/fatherland!
Victoria: …the cannibals, the toasts, the toucans, the Finns, the belugas, the eagles…
Kari: And…and…and…ah, nevermind…

"We shall punish you!" Venus ended.

Kala: (Venus) As we do in the mother/fatherland! With rabid squirrels and lukewarm coffee!
Victoria: Or just feather dusters…

The creature growled and his nails grew very fast to about five inches long.

Victoria, examining Kari's nails: Don't yours do that too?
Kari: No! *jerks her hand away*

As he turned toward them, he threw his nails and they pinned the other sailors to the wall.

Kari: However, having my nails do that would be dead useful…
Victoria: *slides away a few seats* o.o;

But while his back was turned, Sailor Moon…

Kala: Said something intelligent, thus throwing the monster into a state of SHOCK!
Victoria: Dun, dun, duuuun.

did her moon tiara magic

Trish: dust buster with pretty trailing sparkles and interesting light show effects

attack. She was surprised when Sailor Platos added her own attack.

Kari: (Platos) Fiery dust bunnies of DOOM!

"Platos fire column!" Her attack attached to the tiara and made it a spinning flame.

Victoria: Which soon went out because it was a wimpy attack combined with a wimpy attack creating a…dun, dun, duuun…super wimpy attack!
Trish: HEY!
Victoria: You're not going to try and defend that fire column turned sphere, are you?
Trish: Oh…on second thought…

The burning tiara hit the monster in the back.

Kala: (Monster) Ow.
Brekke: Hehe. Spontaneous human combustion. Hehe. MAYHEM!

He collapsed in flames

Kari: (Monster) Oh my, I seem to be in flames.

and a second later was only dust, which was dispersed by a gust.

Trish: Oh! OH! The author's a poet and she didn't know it!
Kari: Which is a lot to say for this writer…

Sailor Moon rushed over to the disappearing pile of ashes

Victoria: (Moon) I lost my contact! I lost my contact!

and picked through it to find Rei's crystal. She found it quickly and tossed it to Platos who placed it back on Rei's chest where it disappeared.

Kari: Or so they thought. But it just liquefied and entered Rei's veins where it then crystallized, effectively killing her.
Trish: And there was much rejoicing.
Others, sans Brekke: Yay.

Moon looked down at the ashes again as they finally disappeared and was surprised to see that there was another crystal there. A clear one.

Kari: (Moon) Since when were my contacts crystal?
Kala: (Moon) Dude! Opium!
Kari: *raises eyebrow* Kala, where are you learning these things?
Kala: *glances at Brekke* No one, no where, nothing…
Kari: Brekke…
Brekke: MAYHEM! Hehe. Bananas are good with coleslaw. MAYHEM!

Rei woke up then and looked around, clearly fazed out.

Victoria: Clearly hung over from her experiments with pot the day before…

Sailor Moon helped her to her feet and picked up the other crystal.

Kala: Betcha she wants to pawn it.
Trish: (Rei) Hey! Hey! Who's letting the dumb blonde get the money?!

"Who's is this?" Moon wondered.

Victoria: (Rei) Yours. So drop dead already.

"I don't know," a peeved Venus said from her position on the wall, "but get us down before we rot!"

Kari: (Moon) Whoa, where'd they come from?!

~*~

Victoria grabs a flamethrower and attempts to toast the divider.
Others: o.o;

Serena still held the crystal even after she had returned to her normal self and gotten the other sailors off the wall.

Kari: I sure gotten a lot of complaints for this writer…

Now they went from room to room in the store looking for the owner of the crystal. They found the owner behind the checkout counter, facedown on the floor.

Kala: Behind the counter…? What the squirrel was he doing there? Seems like a burglar to me…
Kari: Maybe it was supposed to be, "they found the store owner…"
Kala: No, no, definitely a burglar.

Rei returned the crystal to him and he thanked her for waking him up.

Victoria: (Moon) Hey! We found that!

"I must've fallen asleep!" He exclaimed when he got up. "I even had a weird dream about a monster!"

Kari: *laughs weakly* Don't we all…
Victoria: Wooooooh! Those 'shrooms sure do give you weird dreams, eh?
Brekke: 'Shrooms! 'Shrooms! Rooms! Booms! Looms! Moons! Spoons! Loons! Pools!

~*~
Victoria: *crying* Why does it keep coming back?!

After school that day, Lita was in her science class making up for the time she had taken out of class for the episode at the book shop.

Kari: Those homicidal episodes, they really get to you.

She was helping her teacher since she had already made up the work.

Trish: Can we say "suck up?"

"Lita, before you go home, take this to your math teacher, please?" He asked handing her a stack of paper.

Kari: (Lita) No!
Victoria: (Lita) I just know this is a set up to get me alone so something dramatic can happen to me!
Trish: Dramatic? Dramatic? Has anything dramatic happened at all in this story?

She got up and left the room, hearing her teacher say to the other student who had been late to school, "And Brekke, you're done too. Just take this to Mrs. Thompson and you may go."

Brekke: BREKKE! ME! MAYHEM!
Victoria does a dance of victory.
Kari: What was that for?
Victoria: Did you see Ypsos mentioned at all? Did you see her? NO! Therefore, I AM SAFE!
Kala: That's what they say back in the mother/fatherland before they are dragged away to the mental ward…

Lita waited for Brekke outside of the room. Brekke was nice, and she thought that she might be friends with her.

Victoria: *laughs* Brekke? Nice? HAH!
Brekke: Hey! I smelled that! I like cheese-its, okay?!

"Wow, I'm glad that's over!" Lita said to her as they ambled down the hallway.

Trish: (Lita) Sucking up sure is hard!

"Yup," she nodded, her pitch-black, shoulder length hair barely moving.

Kari: (Brekke) Over-dosed on the hair spray and hair gel again today; sorry.

Lita suddenly noticed that Brekke had much the same dark brown eyes as she did.

Victoria: Whoa! Wait! Lita has green eyes, get it? Green! Not brown!

She was surprised for she rarely met anyone with that type of eye color. As they came upon where the hallway split, Lita waved and went off to find the teacher.

Kari: And once again, the ally allusion.
Victoria: So stupid, so stupid.

Lita had to stop by her science classroom on the way out for she had left her school supplies in there. She pushed open the door and went in, hoping Brekke had stopped by as well.

Trish: Smoking pot together! What a bonding experience!

"Hi Mr.-" she stopped and gasped.

Kari: For the teacher was stoned out cold on the floor!

Her teacher was draped on top of his desk, not moving.

Kari: *smirks* Told you so.

Lita ran over and turned him over, shivering as she touched his cold hand.

Kala: (Lita) Our love was so short…ah, well…hey! That guy out the window looks like my old boyfriend!

His eyes were dull, just as the others who had had their crystals taken had looked. She realized that that was what must've happened to him.

Victoria: Derh derh.

Brekke wasn't in the room, which gave her hope that she might've left before this happened. But then she noticed that her stuff was still there.

Kala: Back in the mother/fatherland, we'd've sent this whole cast to prison by now…
Brekke: My stuff's right here. What is everybody talking about?

A scream echoed down the hallway right then. Lita paused for a moment,

Trish: (Lita) Probably some whiny brat…

then flipped open her communicator device and contacted Luna.

Kari: (Lita) Quick! Luna! We need two large, double cheese pizzas ordered right now so they'll be there when I get to the shrine!

"There's trouble at the school! Come quick!" She exclaimed and immediately transformed into Sailor Jupiter.

Victoria: She immediately did that. Get it. Immediately. Not later. Not yesterday. Not in a few hours. Immediately.
Kari: Wow man. That was awful. Will somebody shoot me please?
Kala: Back in the mother/fatherland, people who wrote this bad were thrown to the cannibals…
Brekke: I like chickenpox. Chickenpox. Chickenpox pox. Pox!



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